Filling Time: TwinLife Empty-Nesting

18 years ago my TwinLife journey began, and now it’s time to start a new one. As we drove back home from dropping our daughter off at college, my husband and I made the decision to stop for dinner. “There’s nothing at home for us,” I said. He knew I meant both the quiet of our house and the emptiness of our fridge. “We need to waste time.”

“I prefer to think of it as filling time,” he said.

And so it is. The next chapter is about FillingTime, though I know it will be so much more than just filling time. As we figure out the proverbial “empty-nester life,” I want to fill my time with purpose and passion.

I’m just not quite sure what that entails… yet.

On the way home from the gym the other morning I heard Ben Rector’s song “Drive.” I immediately sent it to my husband and said, “This might be our new anthem.”

When’s the last time we dropped our things and went?
Woke up somewhere that we’ve both never been?
Growin’ up doesn’t mean gettin’ older
Maybe it’s just left turns off familiar streets
I just wanna come back with a memory
Growin’ up doesn’t mean gettin’ older
I don’t care
Anywhere
Like a river connects to the ocean
This pavement touches wherever we go, and
White lines flyin’ by, who knows what we’ll find
You and me tonight
Let’s drive

Today we dopped off our son (the second in a week and the last of our kids to head off to college), and as I hugged him goodbye, I couldn’t help but hold back the tears until he walked away completely.

The twin-sized hole in my heart burst open – even as I was so sure that his path was perfect for him, just as my daughter’s was for her. I couldn’t be happier for them to move forward, even as I’m a bit lost about where my path will lead.

It’s not easy to suddenly pivot from the purpose of rearing kids. TwinLife for us meant we only got to see every stage once; we only had one time to get it right or blow it without the benefit of hindsight and experience. For that I am actually grateful, because it helped me to slow down and savor each stage. But it also means we feel this moment doubly. And I’m not gonna lie – it’s a lot.

It’s a new stage to savor – and to wonder in – and, sometimes, to fear, even as we hope.

And so we drive ahead, FillingTime. This blog begins the journey of TwinLife as an empty-nester. Feel free to read my last journey at TwinLife: Having it All to set the stage for what is yet to come.